Start Today

Here's a quick summary of the main message of the past series of posts:

1. Yes you can.

Do you have a brain? Then you are not helpless. Think, act, and learn your way out of your problems and towards your goals.

Is it difficult for you? Practice. START. SMALL. Take baby steps if you need to. If you're not even willing to do that, you're never going to get what you want. It would be like sitting in a car without wheels. You simply won’t be able to get to your destination. You won’t be able to even make one move forward. Thinking, taking action, and learning; these are your wheels. This is what moves you along the road of personal change.

2. Change takes time and consistent effort.

Patience and persistence are therefore non-negotiable. It's simply a requirement for reaching your goals. This doesn't mean to persist mindlessly. Persistently trying to fit a square peg in a round hole won't do you any good. This is where critical thinking becomes important as well. Yes, you need to persist through setbacks and opposition, but you also need to critically evaluate your performance so that you know where you need to make adjustments in order to prevent running into the same issues again.

3. Trust the process.

Trust that if you put in the effort, it's only a matter of time before you make progress. Research[1,2,3] as well as countless examples throughout history show this to be true.[4,5]

If you're skeptical of the research or simply skeptical of the notion that you can achieve personal change, I challenge you to try and prove yourself wrong. For the next 30 days, I challenge you to give what you've learned thus far an honest effort. Pick one problem you're experiencing in your life (start with the simplest one at first) and for the next 30 days, spend a minimum of 10 minutes a day to either (A) THINK critically and creatively about the problem and potential solutions, or (B) LEARN about how you might solve your problem. Then, (C) ACT on whatever you've come up with or learned.

You need to build what is known in the psychology literature as self-efficacy. This is essentially the belief in your ability to succeed at a given task. There are a number of ways to develop self-efficacy,[6] but the one I am advocating for here is through gaining personal experiences of success. Start small. Continue to BUILD on your success experiences. The more you do this, the more confidence you will develop in your own abilities.

Give yourself a chance to experience the process of putting in the time and work and getting a payoff because of it.

Most, if not all, of what I've written up to this point might have sounded pretty simple and quite obvious. That's because it is. However, that doesn't make it any less true. When it comes to helping ourselves make a change we often overcomplicate things, because we're too afraid to acknowledge the simple, obvious truth: that we'll have to work to get what we want and that this will take time. So, get to work!

Also, stay tuned for the #journal series, designed to get you to start writing/thinking and exercising your mind!

References

1. Ericsson, K. A., Krampe, R. T., & Tesch-Römer, C. (1993). The role of deliberate practice in the acquisition of expert performance. Psychological Review, 100(3), 363-406.

2. Duckworth, A., & Gross, J. J. (2014). Self-control and grit: Related but separable determinants of success. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23(5), 319-325.

3. Duckworth, A. L., Peterson, C., Matthews, M. D., & Kelly, D. R. (2007). Grit: Perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(6), 1087-1101.

4. Lucas, B. J., & Nordgren, L. F. (2015). People underestimate the value of persistence for creative performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109(2), 232-243.

5. Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The power of passion and perseverance. Scribner/Simon & Schuster, New York, NY.

6. Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191-215.